Isn’t there always some negative Nellie in the crowd dying to be a buzz kill with their poisonous words?
I find it usually goes something like this:
“Your daughter is 11 (sounds like elev-in)?”
“Mmm, Hmm.” (Confidently – like I’ve got this covered)
“Oh, I’m SO SORRY…or …Just wait until she’s 12.”
“Whatever” (I’m thinking this person needs a yoga class – like yesterday)
I mean really, like my daughter had undergone an obligatory overnight morphing into an incredibly unlikeable person – completely based upon her age. Not to mention I already have a 13 year old too. (Look I’m not stupid, I know it happens)
So my usual response is then – “Really, she’s just great and I prefer to live in the moment.” (maybe you should too)
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If I hadn’t been a teenager before it may have been a total head scratcher.
But, hello – I have been one, one that actually lived with type 1 diabetes too. So, when someone describes a teen as if a skull robber came into their room overnight scooping anything intelligible from between their ears - it’s hard to feel nonplussed. I didn’t have those carefree years where thinking could be thrown out the window – I had Type 1 diabetes – the thinking disease.
These conversations then do bring some obvious issues of teenagedom and Type 1 diabetes to the forefront. A typical person telling me “oh you wait” is not also dealing with a child who is toting a chronic disease 24/7. But when you are in a crowd of parents that do have kids with Type 1 this scenario still occurs and explanations tend to be very hyperinflated.
How is it forgotten that teenagers are still kids? Kids that are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders while growing and changing like all of their peers. Clearly they are not just worried about their eyeliner and locker combination.
How do we then balance the two?
Personally, it’s about shared responsibilities – a constant give and take of diabetes duties. In middle school there may be more reminders and theoretically more failures than when they were 9 (yes, this is normal and ok – no blaming and finger pointing needed). Their peers forget their lunch on the counter and ours may happen to forget their glucometer.
Hormones have a quick way of switching a finely tuned focus.
Remember: most kids want to feel well, please their parents and take on the world. While they figure out their place in their ever changing environment diabetes also comes along for the ride (like an ugly step-sister).
Questions, reminders, extra help, love, understanding and most importantly – PATIENCE are part of job sharing Type 1 diabetes through the teenage years. Don’t expect perfect or you will be sorely disappointed. Type 1 diabetes has a funny way of hammering that point home.
You may just become a master of deep breathing – a beautiful gift given to parents of kids with Type 1 diabetes.